Hi Parnassus
I will start by explaining the "normal" behavior (you 2nd and 3rd paragraphs) for north>south unicasts.
A unicast packet arrives at one switch on its way to a client (let's say to the "left" VSX member). The LAG traffic distribution algorithm will only select ports on that switch ("left"), we call this Local-first, to forward the packet. So, in normal conditions no unicast traffic (except for control traffic) should traverse the ISL.
In the future this will apply also to multicast. Today, all multicast is forwarded by a single port on the VSX LAG.
So, only multicast should traverse the ISL (plus VSX control traffic: hellos, synch, etc.). Unless you have other devices connected to only one of the VSX members.
As for your first paragraph, the basic would be to test connectivity using the traditional methods: ping and traceroute. But let me analyse it a bit more and get you the answer.
Regards, Ruben Iglesias.-