Thanks for the replys, i've got it to work now but fear I migh have just added an extra load of traffic onto the network.
@cjoseph
I wasn't sure at first as when you said turn off Airgroup I thought that would disable the functionality of Bonjour and completely not allow the devices to talk. However I did that and then tried to look for the option "Drop Broadcast and Multicast" but couldn't find it. I thought I remembered seeing it in the AP profile settings(picture below) but couldn't, instead I saw the option "Broadcast filtering" which was set to "enabled", I then set that to "disabled" and viola, a re-launch of itunes and it immediatley saw the iPhone and a second device(iPad) which we set up to sync.
@cappalli
Earlier today I tried just that but it didn't work, the devices just couldn't see each other, however after getting everything to work using the above just now, I tried it again and it broke it again, enabling just that profile with that service ID stopped the devices from seeing each other, I tried again to enable all profiles but again it didn't work.
It seems a bit strange though, as before I turned of "Broadcasting filtering" and Airgroup, it did momentarily work with "Airgroup" enabled and all profiles on, stumped, I eventually found the only difference was that both Mac and iPhone were using the 2.4Ghz band instead of 5Ghz, ofcourse that was only temporary due to where I was when connecting to the AP's, most of the time they all allways use the 5Ghz band.
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So now i've disabled "Broadcast filtering" and turned off "Airgroup" and all seems to be working fine, however my question now would be that because i've disabled "Broascast filtering", will that add alot of Bonjour traffic onto the network ?, as from what I understand it's a very chatty kind of protocol.
The adjustment I made(as well as turning off "Airgroup" is as below):